Learn to Fly
by Azar443
Summary: *Spoiler Alert for Criminal Minds Episode 200* Sometimes goodbye means you'll love someone forever, and you gain closure just by saying goodbye.


**Author's Note:** Ok, so who's alive after watching the 200th episode? I barely lived to write this fic, I tell you but anyway. This isn't my usual Hotch/Prentiss centric story. It's more of a BAU fic with Hotch/Prentiss thrown into it. It's bitter-sweet and I've included lyrics from, of course, **Blackbird **(from where the title comes), **Calls Me Home **by **Shannon Labrie** and **As It Seems **by **Lily Kershaw**. Regarding 200, I'm so proud of the Twitter CM Family for getting **#CM200 & #QueenPIsBack** to trend. We have the best cast, crew AND fans, really. My most personal piece to date, and please do review. I appreciate every single feedback you give!

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><p>Relief is palpable on the faces of those present in the bar. It's never easy having one of your own taken away and hurt while you stand at the sidelines, not knowing where they are and what they're going through.<p>

The BAU, past and present, are no innocents to the torture techniques that were most likely piled onto JJ. They can, they _did_, imagine the agony and despair the seemingly frail blonde went through. And yet for all her soft appearance, Jennifer Jareau succeeded where no _man_ did: she survived.

_Take these broken wings and learn to fly_

Will squeezes his wife, glad that she's returned to him, safe. She will have scars and nightmares, and while he wishes he could have spared her from the dark images that would haunt her for days or maybe even weeks, Will LaMontagne Jr sends a silent prayer to the Lord that his Jayje is in his arms now, bruised but not broken.

It's warm and welcome within her man's embrace, and JJ breathes out a sigh as she snuggles deeper into his secure hold. She tries to forget the feeling of Hasting's vile hands wandering along her body even as she remembers her lost baby. Her Henry would have had a baby sister or brother to play with if it weren't for the accident and Will would be a doting father again. Her fingers brush her taut stomach absently; her miscarriage was a tragedy but today, now, with her family by her side again, there seems to be a bright light shining at the end of the tunnel, and maybe, just maybe, one day the LaMontagne family will grow again.

_Take these sunken eyes and learn to see_

Penelope's standing next to her Emily, nearly quivering with joy at the sight of her old friend returned to them, at least for a while. There's a bright smile on Emily's face as everyone comes up to talk to her, desperate to get a hold of her before she has to return to London, far away from their fold. The lights of the bar hit her glasses, and for a moment Spencer imagines he sees a vivid sheen of tears misting about Penelope's smiling eyes.

Alex Blake sips her bourbon as she smiles at how the tight lines of her Unit Chief's eyes soften. She doesn't know if it's the soft glow of the lights that makes Aaron Hotchner seem more human, or if it's the relief of having JJ back in one piece. But the linguist is certain that her brunette predecessor plays some part at how freely the man smiles tonight. Emily is beautiful, the edges of her eyes crinkling in laughter and her straight hair slithers about her shoulders, turning different shades of brown she shakes her head at something incredulous Derek says. Alex loves her team members but in that moment she wonders how the team could have continued on without the glue that was so clearly Emily Prentiss. The slight weight on her ring finger stirs a slight thought in her mind, but the older woman shakes her head; that thought was best left to ponder in time.

_You were only waiting for this moment to be free_

Hotch feels a twinge of unease settle in his stomach even as he chuckles at Emily's exasperation as she recounts the tale of a rather insipid and useless female Interpol agent who _cried_ when she broke a nail on her first field mission. He's ecstatic that the team has got Emily back for one more time but he doesn't think that anyone has missed the tinge of sadness that's swimming in the dark depths of her eyes. He sees what Spencer has seen, the tears Penelope's trying so hard to fight back. He sees the way Derek's laughing too loudly, how Spencer is speaking faster than usual and how Dave's downing his whiskey like it was water.

"So Emily, how much longer do we have you for?"

It's too much sadness to think about what will happen once she leaves, so Hotch is determined that they're going to make good use of whatever time Emily has left with them.

The Interpol agent cocks her head and smiles coquettishly; she certainly hasn't missed the undercurrent of tension that has everyone trying _too_ hard to pretend that everything will be fine and she's glad for Hotch's timely intervention. Its JJ's night, they are here to celebrate the fact that the feisty blonde survived the ordeal she was in and came out triumphant. It's supposed to be a night of thankfulness and appreciation of life and she's intent on it remaining that way.

"Uhm, 6 hours." She's actually supposed to be back in London in 2 hours but she reckons with all the crap she has to deal with every day, Easter can put up with whatever paperwork that's supposed to be dire enough to threaten national security. Emily Prentiss is home with her family, and let the forces that tried to keep her away from them be damned.

_Blackbird fly, blackbird fly_

Smiles return to the faces of every person gathered there, and someone, Dave's not really sure who, calls out for a toast and they're huddling close, shoulders brushing as they clinked their glasses together, toasting to family and love and friendship and everything that was good and right in the world.

JJ is sandwiched between Will and Spencer, an arm around each of her boys and the most vibrant smile is gracing her slightly cracked lips. Penelope is ordering Kevin to get her another drink as she, clearly tipsy, planted a smacking kiss on Derek's dimpled cheek. Dave and Alex are leaning back against the bar, content to take on the role of the parents as they looked over their younger friends.

_In the quiet moment, when the earth holds still_

Perhaps the sight that surprises Spencer most is the sight of Hotch speaking so tenderly and softly to Emily. But then, he really shouldn't be in hindsight. His eidetic memory gives Spencer flashes of how different Hotch has always acted around Emily. They were never obvious, just subtle little touches and glances thrown in here and there. He supposes the attraction and affection were always there, only the duo has never acted on it. The young genius can't hear what he's telling her, but it's evident from the soft upward tilt of Emily's mouth that it must be something good.

Derek smirks as his baby girl whispers a little observation in his ear. They've always known something bound the dark haired couple currently sitting next to each other in silence, something stronger than supervisor and subordinate. His smirk dies down when he thinks of how cruel it is that their Emily is going to be leaving them soon. He knows Emily left because she couldn't find her home anymore and they all want her to be happy but he thinks it's all right to be selfish once in a while because there's nothing more they all want than to see her home, with them.

_Cause this life, is as fragile as a dream_

It's Emily's decision in the end. No one can make her budge on her choice when she's made it, and no one wants to force her to do something that will make her unhappy. But it's strange, Dave muses, at how everyone seems more at peace with Emily's impending departure this time. It's not as though they miss her less; if anything they miss her all the more after seeing her again after so long. But it feels like gaining closure, her return, this time. It feels like she's coming back to say goodbye properly and that maybe the team is more ready to let her fly once more. It feels like acceptance and the quiet understanding that no matter where Emily goes or is, she'll always be in the hearts of the BAU.

Soft music fills the bar and people start to drift off in couples, swaying to the melancholic beat. It's quite fitting, how the both times Emily's leaving they end the day with a dance. Hotch raises his eyes up to meet the tear filled gaze of his friend and confidante and he reaches out for her hand. She gladly takes it and they move silently to the dance floor. He has an arm around her waist and another grasps her hand and it feels so much like the first time they danced he thinks his heart will burst with overflowing sadness. Emily smiles shakily at him and moves closer, burrowing her head in his chest. It seems rather like it's the end of the world and she's feeling everything she's never let herself feel and she finally works up the courage to reach up and kiss Hotch, once, softly on the lips.

_I'm coming home, to breathe again_

Emily Prentiss has come home, one more time. No one knows if she'll be back with them again or if she'll ever stay. Even if sadness weaves between the joy that fills the air tonight, JJ doesn't think anyone will think of this night with regret or anything less than fondness. She spies the kiss between Hotch and Emily and can't help but beam. Her family is here and Emily is back, if only for 6 more hours, and Jennifer Jareau thinks it's such a wonderful day to be alive.

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><p><strong>AN: **I don't know if you realized but there are sort of two halves of the story. First pays tribute to the wonderful character of JJ and **AJ Cook**; she deserves this episode so much. The second half is for Emily and mostly about closure. I nearly wrote that Emily would return, but didn't. I wanted this to be realistic and it sort of mirrors my thoughts about Paget leaving.** Learn To Fly**, to me means the team learning to let Emily go, as well as Emily learning to fly and find where she really belongs. I got closure from this episode, for both Emily and Paget and I hope it showed here. I love Paget Brewster and Emily so much; I wish she never left but I want Paget to be happy doing what _she_ wants to do. So I think 200 not only gave the viewers closure, but the cast as well. I don't know if Paget will ever come back to the show but I know that everyone will be waiting for her with open arms. I hope this story gave you as much joy and some sadness that it gave me as I was writing this. Feedback is so much appreciated and treasured.


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